A little about me....

Sweet Sweet Pea 
Some things I do not discuss much here, not just because I am a sporadic poster, although that is a lot of the reason, but sometimes it is all I can do to chronicle the things I am making, that is really, what this blog is about. Occasionally, I think that this blog will become some sort of record of my free time, which is not much if you go by how much I post.

Today for the that reason, for the sake of our friend posperity, I am going on record saying that in May I graduated from college. And It was hard. It was hard in the fact that at age 34 I decided that I had had enough of the cloud of regret that has hung over me for over a decade. I needed to go to college. I needed to finish. It was hard in the fact that the other reason I knew I needed to go was to relieve some of the financial strain that we always have, my husband did not go to college either. Our job selection in this case is minimal. At least it is for us. It was hard in the fact that I had four children at home and my youngest(s) were beginning Kindergarten. And it was hard in the fact that I had to still work full time.

I miss it. I graduated. I loved class and the people I went with. In all the things that were hard lie all the things that are great. I am a college graduate. I have a Bachelors degree in Elementary Education with a concentration in Middle School Language Arts. I know what it is like to struggle through school, to fight and to finish. I learned I love middle schoolers as much as first graders and every age in between. My children get it.

Today I am taking my 4th of the 6 tests that I need to become a licensed teacher in the state of Minnesota. I am 40 years old. College took me 6 years and I hate tests. I know what it is like to test poorly but get good grades. I will admit it; I know what it is like to fail. I failed my math test-it is required- I have to pass. I find linear equations very challenging and geometry is a bit above my knowledge base 20+ years out of high school. My education program prepared me to teach, to learn, to care, to be humble, to understand, to analyze, to share my passion but not how to solve quadratic equations. I need to know these.

However, the test today is not about integers, exponents and slope (that is next week). The test today is on Middle School Content, I should have studied all day. I did not. I finished a quilt top. I have studied math for two solid weeks and just felt I needed to relax and refresh. The tests for licensure are new this year. We are some of the first ones taking them while I am not 100% confident, not even close; I am okay to take it twice. I took a pedagogy test in July and did fine so I suppose I am still floating on that hoping that what I know is enough.

So if you happen to read this, if you actually got this far, thank you and think of me and send me good thoughts. There are still many days when I question what I am doing, why I put myself and my family through this and if I will ever be able to get through these tests to do the one thing that I am truly passionate about, the one thing that I know I am good at, will I ever be able- to teach.

***DISCLAIMER since I have admitted that my education and my strong desire to teach please do not judge my grammatical errors- to me writing from the heart allows a person grammatical imperfections.


Wow I have that cloud of regret I am so proud of you.....well done!
Meghan said…
Good luck with all of your tests! Once you get licensed to teach though, it totally becomes worth it. =)
GardenofDaisies said…
Dear Natasha, First of all congratulations on going back to school!!! Don't worry. You CAN pass this. It's Ok to fail as long as you know to get back up and try again. It will make you a better teacher. Some school district near you will be very lucky when they hire you to be one of their teachers.
I hope you will stop by my blog if you have time. I have a giveaway going on.
Hello there Natasha,

Thanks for the lovely comment you left on my blog.

Although I don't know you, you sound like someone who has a strong passion to teach, and that is worth so much, I'm sure you'll reach your goal, and even if you fail one of the tests, don't give up and don't beat yourself up about it. You've worked so hard and come so far, that one final push and you can achieve your dream.

Best of luck,

Kathryn said…
You are very inspiring! Congrats to you for graduating, what an accomplishment! :) Good luck on your tests, I know they are stressful but prayers to you. Even if you can't find a teaching job right away, I'm sure the right position will find a way to you. Best of luck to you during this time! :)

Tricia said…
First off, please note how proud your family (immediate, extended, and otherwise) are of you--even if they don't know how to appropriately express it. Second, unlike Gandolf, you shall pass (no worries about my extreme nerdiness right now.). You will, and you'll do it with flying colors. Third--I completely agree with blogging and being non-grammatical. Totally go hand in hand. Love you.
kristin said…
dear Natasha, dear, dear Natasha. YOU are to be honored by this awesome achievement!! You did it! You finished college and still managed to work, take charge of household responsibilities and most of all, be a mother. you WILL get through the grueling tests because you need to. great work...those lucky,lucky children who will get you as a teacher. xx