Time just keeps moving

In the last two weeks we have:

::painted our living room, kitchen, bath, hallway, entryway and lower landing.
::Re papered the entry and updated the trim
::Hung new curtains
::Cleared out all living area clutter (notice I say living area, there is plenty more to go)
::Cleaned the garage
::Cleaned the house top to bottom

Most importantly we watched this beautiful child grace her way through another rite of passage....high school graduation.

Our final company pulled away from our house this morning on their way back to WA and the finality of it all is just setting in. Next we will be packing up and sending her off to college. You wouldn't believe all the panic that is attached to this process. I have these words on a constant reel in my head...."did I teach her how to....." and "did I prepare her for....".

Last month my focus was on getting through three classes, finishing up at work, doing my practicums and planning graduation. Each object of my attention ending in that order - classes, practicum, work and finally graduation. As soon as school was out it was full on graduation party mode with its painting and cleaning and preparing. It was odd as we stood and watched the last of our family leave our house. A strange sense of lost-ness came over me. Most of this day I just haven't quit known what to do with myself. I suppose this is a variation of what it feels like when the last of your children head off to college. The house will be empty and years of focus will have to be readjusted. The one positive is that in a teens senior year of school they are gone a lot, at work, games or with friends so that some adjustment is already happening. Yet somehow it doesn't seem any easier.